equinox

the autumn equinox today, to remind me that winter is not far away, especially here in the north-lands, the nights will get very long indeed.


the u.m. seltsimaja story came to a disappointing end... after a week of being there, in the attic with the rest of the couchsurfers, i got my marching orders. it was on sunday... i cooked for the house inhabitants my alu gobi sabji and indian chai to follow for the lunchtime meal, only a few of them bothered to turn up and eat... and just as i was going to hit the sack around midnight, louise came up to me, obviously as a proxy for the ones that really make all the decisions in the house, and kinda gave me an ultimatum: pay 10 euros a night or leave. i said that was too much, i couldn't pay, so in the end she just said that tonight i could stay, and tomorrow i have to go. probably i had stepped on some toes, my face didn't fit, i had rocked the boat somehow with being a bit too outspoken, who knows... it definitely felt like a rough deal. not even a will on their part to negotiate a bit, nor some notice until i could find somewhere else; no, it was clear that i was not wanted. but i made no fuss, i packed my stuff the next morning, and despite jimmy trying to force a rethink on the part of the estonians, i left with a bad taste in the mouth.


unfortunately, i couldn't arrange another hc host so fast and had to come back and crash on the floor of jimmy and trinn's room, keeping a low profile so as not to upset anyone... what a shame!
the next day, i was crashing at alexsei place, and i'm still here more than a week later... he's a really cool guy, gave me the spare keys without hesitation. he was busy the whole week with his work as a cook, but it gave me the time and space that i really needed at this time. and when he got back late in the night from work, he was still sociable enough to watch some film together.
i go back to the seltsimaja now and then, to catch up with jimmy and trinn, and martina... heikki and sami also pop in regularly. i get a cooler reception from the others.


the bookbinding has become a never ending saga... after such promising fast beginnings, the limiting factor has become the exorbitant prices for the colour prints of the maps i want to put in at the end of each book. i have got one done so far... with cover made (from a pencil drawing i made) and side trimmed, it just needs to be laminated and it will be ready to use. i got martina to enrol at the national library too, a nice environment where to work and show her how to sew up the signatures for her own book. the library has become a second home here, where i can work on the books and surf the net. and fortunately, the hare krishna place is not far away, so i can go for the delicious lunch there.

busking is definitely not as good as in past years. i even had an altercation some days ago with one old granny in a hi-viz jacket, obviously some racist jobsworth who wants to exercise some power over a coloured busker. alexsei said later that maybe she was responsible for looking after the gardens near where i was busking... and i was in too close a proximity to them. but she has no jurisdiction over the streets, and her attitude was not very friendly-like. she kept repeating 3 words... police, i.d. and estonia.... i kinda figured out what angle she was coming from. i left, but came back a bit later; but she came back too, and again gestured to me to go. and i just tried to ignore her, even laughed at her... but she was back on her mobile phone again... to the pigs, or her nazi sons...? i stopped the drumming and traipsed away. and after i saw her again in the old town square (couldn't miss that hi-viz!), i went back to viru.... played a while longer, but then there was some commotion outside hesburgers... looked like a bag or wallet snatch maybe, (wouldn't be the first on this street for sure)... saw the same dodgy looking guys from before walk off in different directions... maybe they were innocent and i was being paranoid, but i had a gut feeling that there was something suspicious about them. no good energy here today. i decided to call it a day and went to catch some rays up on the hill above freedom square and the ugly memorial that is there.

katrin is back from greece (and soon off to warmer climes, maybe cuba, maybe spain, for the winter), and so finally i had a chance to eat a rummie kookie with someone. it's kinda like a tradition here for me... ever since agnes introduced them to me, and even got me to learn in parrot fashion how to order a couple of these sweet balls of leftover cakes/stuff squeezed together with a hint of rum: 'kaks rummi kookie palun'.

the winds of change are blowing today, and the falling leaves carpet the ground. i have to lift my head up again to the horizon and see what lies in store for me there.

indian summer in tallinn

the sun shines hot although it is september. i stay at the uue maailm seltsimaja (new world community house)... the community had their annual 2-day street festival here last weekend.

it was great, met some real characters, like fellow buskers jimmy 'jimbino' vegan and trinn.... and kicked my foot against a rusty stump of a metal pole whilst playing in the 4-a-side street footy competition. christiane sorted out my wounds (no broken bones: lucky lucky boy!) but i had to give up the evening concerts and party to lay still in bed. next morning i found my old friends daniel and juddi from helsinki sitting in the living room! surprise surprise! they were here as part of a band, and they played a nice little gig in the house, and then off back to finland. so good to see them again too! so good memories of the times before in helsinki: the food not bombs workcamp, the squat actions, the busking at central station...! i'm still working on the travel book project (my current one is down to its last empty page)... like the last time i was here in estonia last year, staying at kadri's place in tartu. the memories of that time, and the subsequent coincidental meeting in poland, still force their way to the surface of my conscious mind, begging for attention.... playing on the heart-strings... but i have to ignore the knee-jerk reaction to judge her harshly again and play the victim. too much left open, unsaid. an opportunity was wasted. past is gone and future isn't born; the moment was, is, and will always be, now. but now, even though the sun is shining so bright and warm, a dark cloud has come to linger and a sadness has gripped my heart. but i know that i must take the bad with the good, because life is full of ups and downs... i have to remember what i have learnt.

tallinn

on the coach to riga, i texted liis in tallinn to let her know i was on my way, but she texted back to say she could not host me that night. so in riga, i went straight to the backpackers hostel near the bus station. of course there was someone using the wireless internet and i asked if i could also use it. no problem. straight onto hc website and to compile a list of likely hosts with phone numbers.

after three goes, i get a reply... 'meet in front of the central station clock at 9p.m.' that's how i got to meet liga and her boyfriend marius, also hitch-hiking backpackers fresh from a trip to cyprus, turkey, bulgaria etc... and also last-minute hc host finders!!! they were also hosting toni, cycling around europe from germany, and they took us to a concert in a bar in the old town before we went back to liga's parent's house just outside riga. and finally a good hot shower again, a hot meal, and a warm bed for the night. such a good night's sleep i had. toni cycled off for tallinn, and

i took a bus into the centre to book the coach to tallinn, and then straight to rimi to buy a whole lot of food and use up all the latvian money i had saved from busking last year! the last coins i dropped into a busker's hat in the underpass before taking the coach to tallinn. i couldn't get through to liis, i thought she had switched her phone off, but when i get a text from her asking where i was, i realized that maybe it was a problem from my end. and sure enough i realized i didn't have any credit left on the polish sim. or the german sim. the ukranian sim was also definitely zero credit, maybe the moldovan one.... yes, finally i get a text through to liis. we're to meet at the coach station at 8p.m. the coach is early and i'm hanging out in the waiting area... 8p.m. and no sign of her. i stand and look around... i see someone walk past me, but no, it's not her... but then this same young woman turns around and slowly slowly walks up to me and i'm looking at her asking myself the same question... "sat?", she says. "liis...? have you changed so much, i didn't recognise you...", i started. we smiled and hugged. "and have i changed so much you didn't recognise me!", i asked. "look, rucksack, drum, brown-coloured skin...!", i teased her a bit. fair enough, we hadn't seen each other for a year and a half.... "yeah, there's not that many indian-looking guys that you can mistake...!"

i had met her on the ferry coming back to tallinn from helsinki last year. she had sat at the same table as me, and for most of the journey i saw that she was busy with some studies and computer work... and had munched away at most of my chocolate bar before i remembered some manners and offered her some.

now she had graduated from her bachelor's studies and was enrolled into a master's program, and still working in the same european union funded office in tallinn. for the moment, uma is hosting me as liis has gone to stockholm for a couple of days. uma... now a kindergarten teacher, still the same manic-depressive personality i knew when i first met her and agnes the very first time i had come to tallinn in that hot hot summer six years ago.

then i was busking in front of mcdonalds near viru gates and two girls sat opposite, watching me play. the blond-haired one finally comes up to me and asks "do you speak bengali?" "no, i replied, "i speak punjabi". "oh, that's a shame," she said, "i'm going to bengal next year and i need to learn some of the language." "sorry," i replied, "but i can teach you drumming if you like". and so we agreed that she would host me at her mum's place in exchange for drum lessons.

and that's how i got to hang out in tallinn for a couple of weeks with agnes and uma and their friends kirsti and krystal, and agi's brother meelis. talking of whom, yesterday i was sitting in the national library using the internet when meelis comes over and surprises me. "what are you doing in estonia", he asks. "well, you know, i just love this place, the people, the busking is great.....". we catch up on each other's news since last time i saw him in tartu a year and a half ago. agnes is now living in manchester and working in wigan since two years already, a long complicated love affair keeps her there. at her and meelis's mum place on kentmanni, we talked (via skype) for the first time in years.... funny to hear her with a strong mixed mancunian/scouse accent! i had another surprise encounter yesterday too! toni had made it to tallinn and emailed me and we met at the library. after helping to find him a new host with the uusmailm crowd at their community house, we went to the arch at viru gates to do some busking, with toni on harmonica.

after an hour there, i notice a tall dark haired girl looking at me as she approaches us, she has a quizzical look on her face but she walks on by. we are still playing as toni looks at me and shrugs and i look at him and shrug back. and then this girl comes back, about to drop some money into the 'hat' and says to me: "i know you from somewhere..." and then it clicks! "yeah, i know you too.... from greece, right?" it was katrin, we had met at the turkish/greek border last year. we were taking the same bus from istanbul, and we were the last two standing in the queue for passport control on the turkish side. i had said to her, " you're not from turkey, are you?". fair enough, it wasn't the wittiest piece of ice-breaking i had ever come up with, and so i wasn't surprised when she turned round and answered back very dryly in english "no, i'm not". we moved onto the greek side, and undeterred, i asked, "so where are you from then?" "estonia", she replied. "ah, tere", i said. i could see she was surprised. "oh, you have been to estonia", she said. "yes, of course", i replied. "mis su nimi an?", i asked. now her eyes really lit up with shock. "you can speak estonian", she cried. " a little.... mis su nimi an?" "oh, katrin", she replies. "tere katrin, minu nimi an sat", i reply. we talked on the coach up until alexandroupolis where i got off. she, like the rest of the coach passengers, carried onto thessaloniki, but we met up again there too a couple of days later.

as we took a tea in her favourite cafe, she said to me she had spent the summer working at olde hansa pub/restaurant. it seems to be a rite of passage for young estonian girls in tallinn to have worked at olde hansa! and soon she would be off on her eu-funded 'travels' once more. it was a real surprise for both of us to have met again here in tallinn, but then again, i shouldn't be too surprised. this sort of thing happens to me all the time!

hitching the via baltica

another 6a.m. start the next morning, first light i was up and away, and was waiting only 5 minutes before i get a lift to lomza. had to walk into town, and then out a little bit, and another quick lift to graejwo. here i got really stuck, in the hot hot sun burning my face, 2 girl hitchers had come and got a lift, how demoralizing seeing i had been there hours and not even a sniff of a lift! finally finally, tomek saves me... he's going to toma, it's on the way to augustow... ok, i'm desperate just to get any lift and i jump in. toma turns out to be a middle of the forest place, but fortunately there is a bus stop with a lay-by. and luckily i don't have to wait long before i get the lift to augustow. maryna offers me tea and sandwiches too, and i was happy she could speak english too and was good company to augustow. i filled up on water and had a quick wash at the public water place, and saw maryna again. she persuaded me to do a little busking in the main square as she wanted to hear me drumming. so i did, it was a bit of a shock for the residents of augustow probably.... but maryna enjoyed it at least. i walked out to the hitching spot and tried thumbing, but no luck. and the weather was threatening rain... one old woman waiting at the bus stop even came up to me and told me the times for the bus to suwalki, speaking in french! "it will rain, it will rain", glancing up at the sky. and sure enough, some time later, it began to piss down. i waited under the bus shelter and hailed the sulwalki bus. it was still pissing down there too, and i took refuge in the bus station waiting room.
what to do, i was desperate to get hitching again, but i would get soaked for sure. nothing to do but sit it out. much later that evening, the rain eased off and i walked out of town for the road to the border, and found a place to hitch. wasn't the best of choices, but i didn't feel to look for a sheltered place to kip... happily, a large 4wd pulls over for me out of the petrol station on the opposite side of the road. maggie and her dad and brother could drive me to about 5kms from the border, there was a petrol station there where i could try to get another lift. but after an hour of trying there, i called it quits for the night and found a place to kip rough again. yet again, i'm waking up at 6a.m., this being sunday morning.... and it wasn't looking too hopeful. what was it with these border areas? like some sort of psychological as well as physical barrier for the drivers... the truckers kept flying past my outstretched thumb, as well as the lithuanian, latvian and estonian registered cars and vans. a polish truck pulls into the services and parks up quite close to me. i take the opportunity to ask the driver as he gets out of the cab. "graniza? graniza is dobra", i plead, beg. maybe he picks up the slightly desperate tone in my speech and says "ok". after getting some provisions, he drives me the last 5kms to the border, through the polish side, then the lithuanian post, and finally parks up just after. probably to get his paperwork cleared, i assumed. i didn't care, i was happy to be in lithuania, and walked on a bit to the services up ahead. it was a bright sunny morning which cheered up my mood, and dried out my clothes. i sat at a picnic table and had breakfast, and then to the road once more.
a french registered car pulls up and already i'm at the driver's side speaking to him in french... but soon realize that he isn't french and he doesn't speak french, but fortunately he speaks a little english. he's going to kalingrad, but he can take me a little bit past marijampole on the road to kaunus. it turns out that he is also a fire-horse, a couple of months older than me. i had to walk a bit past the junction where he dropped me off to find the services on the opposite side of the road... and fortunately a tarmacked side road for the cars to pull over. luckily i didn't have to wait long before i get a lift to kaunus, this time, the lingua franca was german. unfortunately, a misunderstanding made the driver drop me off at a hitching point on the a1 road to riga, i had intended to give up hitching and instead take a bus to riga with the lithuanian money i had saved from busking last year. no fear, it was still sunny and with a sign, i get a lift to the a8 turn-off direction riga.

as i'm walking along the slip road to the hitching point, i thumb a car... and the young driver stops for me. armenus turns out to be driving to panevežys, and i ask him to drop me off in the centre.

here i get to the bus station and book a ticket for the next ecolines coach to riga! and then to maxima to buy a whole lot of grub to use up all of the lithuanian money which had been burning a hole in my pocket for a year and half or so!

warsaw

i tried to hook up with ola and marcel, and kasia, but it seemed like they were still on their travels after rainbow. and so i decided to hit the road again. i got to the hitching point for warsaw, and was there a good hour or so before an austrian registered plate pulls up. "fahren sie nach kielce", i ask the driver. affirmative. didi turned out to speak good english which was great cos my german was very rusty. he was driving to lublin and i managed to persuade him to take me as far as radom before taking his turn for lublin. i was at this roundabout for about three hours, at the bus stop so the cars could pull in and stop safely, but none did. then i met two polish girls, hitching to lublin. one told me that they were going to take the bus to get to the 'real' hitching spot for lublin.... seemed like i was at the south end of town! so in the end, i changed place... i walked the 3 or so kms to the north side of town, and the roundabout there, with the road to warsaw. the sun was setting but the bus-stop and pull-in bay was well lit. and here, the first time i had other hitchers 'competing'. there was one guy there already and i asked him if i could hitch at the beginning of the bus-stop bay. no problem. a couple came half an hour after me, and got a lift after ten minutes or so. damn, i should have chased after that lift. and when a car stopped for the first guy after an hour or so, this time i didn't hesitate. i picked up my pack and drum and ran to the end of the bay. he was already clambering into the car and i managed to open the door at the back and ask, "warsaw?" i heard 'da' and stashed my stuff and myself into the back seats, and off we went. it was quite late now, maybe ten, and after the first hitcher got dropped off, i got into the front seat and chatted with piotr, who could speak a little english. he was playing some polish rap music and i drummed along to this as we ate up the kms to warsaw. he dropped me off some way from the centre, "sorry i can't help you more", he said. "no worries". he had helped me enough by getting me out of radom! and i looked around for a place to kip. wasn't long before i found a fenced off green patch of long grass and weeds, the gate was easy to push open, i rolled out my mat and sleeping bag and fell into a deep sleep. i was up at first light, packed quickly and asked someone how far it was to the centre. it was apparent that it was too far to walk, so i got a ticket and took the tram to the metro 'centrum'.

i had a little breakfast, the last boiled egg i had made in krakow, with some rolls i brought, and soon was looking for a place to busk. i found the exit to the normal train line not far from the metro was a good place... and in a couple of hours made about 40 zlwotys. i bought a sim card for 5 zl and tried to get in touch with a couple of friends, but both numbers seemed to be unavailable. phone switched off maybe. i had also three hc contact numbers, but again, one was out of town, and the other two numbers seemed unavailable. all day i tried and all day i got nothing.

i busked a bit more, did some shopping for some grub, and walked to the bus station at zachodnia. i looked for the bus for suwalki, but it was too late. but there were plenty of buses for ostroleka, some 125kms from warsaw on the road to augustow and suwalki and the via baltica to the baltic states. in the end, i gave up with trying to get through by phone, i left an email message for zuzka, and took the 7p.m. bus to ostroleka. which seemed like it was taking forever to get to its destination, but finally we made it and i hit the main road to see if it was feasible to try hitching at this late hour... but i was pretty tired and found another place to kip rough not far from the main road by the side of a house... and i was almost dozing off when zuzka phones me! seemed like there was some misunderstanding from the emails we exchanged in krakow, she was studying for an exam and couldn't host.... i said no worries, the fate was so and i was already on the road again... and with sorrys and best wishes exchanged, i hit the sack.