the indian ear-cleaning scam

despite pretensions of worldy-wisdom, it seems i am not adverse to being scammed. and the indian scammers are world-class. here’s how they caught me in a very indian scam...
i was just casually strolling along the beach when a man gestures at me. what, something on my face...? a bug...? he comes over and before i knew it, he was scraping away inside my ear with what looked like a crotchet needle. he showed me the ‘wax’ that he was apparently pulling out. ‘ears very dirty’, he said very matter-of-factly. when i first saw the needle, i recoiled away, telling him that no way was he going to put that metal thing in my ear. ‘it’s ok’, he kept saying, ‘it’s my job’. he pulled out a little notebook with what looked like testimonials from previous satisfied customers. somewhere in the distant reaches of my brain, alarm bells were ringing really loud, but somehow something else in me had muzzled them, as surely as the copious amounts of wax on my eardrums that he kept pulling out of my ears. i should’ve run at this point, but i had got sucked in... as he led me to sit down on the sand to finish the job.
now the sucker punch... he pulled out a card for the services of pulling out ‘stones’ from inside the ear... 500 rupees a stone... ‘you hear that’, he tapped with the needle, ‘that’s a stone’. with a pair of tweezers, he pulled out 2 ‘stones’ wrapped in ‘wax’ from one ear, and 2 from the other. ‘that didn’t come from my ear’, i told him. he was insistent. ‘yes, yes...’ and quickly scribbled 2000 in the sand. everything was happening very fast, and it seemed like there was no time to think. i was well and truly caught, and there was no way out. i told him i wasn’t going to pay 2000 as i pulled out my wallet. i still should have walked away at that point, but i felt intimidated by him, even though his manner was not overtly aggressive or violent. there were a couple of his friends around too and i didn’t know what to expect. ‘don’t give me 500’, he kept repeating. whether it was a cunning psychological ploy or not, it worked for him as i found myself taking out a 500 note and thrusting it into his hand. and as if this wasn’t enough, the cheeky bastard asked me to write a testimonial in his little book!! and before i knew it, my very own hand was writing what a good service he provided. i was mentally punching myself in the face for days after just for that indignation. i should’ve disowned myself for being too weak to stand up to this con-man ‘bully’. (photo shows another victim being duped by one of the gang of 'ear-cleaners' - happened just opposite me as i was sitting on the beach some days later)

i told my new found friends of my misfortune... yes of course they knew about this scam, the arambol regulars said laughing. the newbies weren’t laughing so hard when i told them... julia had also got caught a couple of days before me (400 rupees), and also sabine (100 rupees).
there is an epilogue to this story. today, as i was drying out after swimming, i saw a figure walking down the beach, in fact i think he also recognized me and said or gestured something. i was so surprised – i didn’t think i would see him again. but what a nerve, this guy was casually strolling along the beach seemingly unrepentant for what he was doing. i went to him and the first thing i did was ask him for his little book. he happily gave it to me, and opening it to the page where i had scrawled my testimonial, i tore out the page. i was relieved – i didn’t care if i didn’t get my money back, at least i wouldn’t be aiding and abetting this con-man to defraud others. then i told him what i thought of him. i told him that he was a pretty bad person, that i felt that he had cheated me, and that somehow, ‘god’ had provided him this opportunity to reclaim back some good karma points by giving me back the money he stole from me. of course, he was having none of it. he swore on the picture of his ‘god’ that he was telling the truth, that he was doing this for 10 years and never had any complaints. i told him that i had no way of knowing if what he said was true or not, only that the feeling i had was that he had conned me, and that he should do the right thing by giving me back the money. i appealed to whatever shred of conscious he had left in him. his friend came back twice, but each time i told him to go away as this was a matter between me and mr. conman. i was very calm and relaxed; i didn’t make any threats or act aggressively or violently. he asked me to talk to him in hindi... so i told him the same in my basic and rusty punjabi. he understood quite well, and in the end, somehow i convinced him and he gave me back 150 rupees. i told him that i still wasn’t happy with that, but that i would draw a line under the matter.
at this point, i saw that the scottish couple i had befriended the day before had sat a little back listening to what was going on... and as i went to join them, i told them not to trust these men pointing to the guy and his friend as they were walking away. i told them the story, they knew already that i had been scammed and were pleased that i had got some of the money back. then the two guys came walking back with another 2 of their friends, and i told them that that it was the end of the matter. they spoke to me in hindi, and one said that he was also from punjab. the other said not to be angry, and gave me 200 rupees more, saying that i shouldn’t tell anything bad from what had happened. of course not, i was thinking, some negative publicity would be very bad for business! that was the end of the matter for me, i told them. end of the matter regarding the money. but as for the scam, for sure i will warn all and sundry to be wary of anyone poking something in their ear! it was another valuable lesson learnt so in retrospect, i should be grateful to mr. conman. welcome to india!!

arambol

beautiful golden sands line the coastline, and coconut palms abound. the sun is hot and the sea is warm, the locals are friendly in a business-like way, the odd con-man or two around to catch the newly arrived and unwary (yes, they caught me!), all manner of tourists and travellers milling about in a carefree unhurried way, eyeing the wares in the throng of shops lining the main road to the beach as the shop vendors casually urge them to venture inside. all manner of eating places to cater for all tastes and budgets. and as joe said, whatever it is the chef at the relax inn puts in the tomato sauce, it makes us come back night after night. the seafood spaghetti pasta is amazing. italian-trained chefs also at fellini it seems, the pizza there is great. for local vegetarian thali, siddhi is the place. and for some tandoor-made roti to go with the alu gobi, the unfashionable blue sea-horse wins hands-down. yum-yum!



relaxing is definitely what goa is all about. it’s not india. i mean, it’s not ‘real’ india, whatever that is. most of the locals are christian and proud of the portugese influence on this part of india. it doesn’t feel so overbearing and intense like some other parts of this country. it’s a good place to adjust to the tempo of india before venturing out further afield.




i get my dose of relaxing. but then i aslo help out at the ‘balanced view’ centre... the work is now focused on cleaning out the place in time for the season. community life feels good again, but i value my independence too. the movement is towards gokarna and hampi... so when the season here starts in earnest and the tourist hordes arrive en masse, time to escape and revisit these two amazing places.

sharing

today, I was reminded about the power of sharing. only my second day in india, and still jet-lagged from the flight, i had dinner with sabine and julia, and julia’s ‘balanced view’ friends joe and laura. somehow, this ‘balanced view’ rang a bell with me, and laura asked me who i knew after i said that i might know some friends. tobi? and yes, they knew tobi. and later, laura realised that leah was also a mutual friend! destiny was weaving another mysterious pattern, and i could see how it was all unfolding. and it was chatting with laura and talking about life, ‘balanced view’, technology, facebook(!), etc. that i realised that i had, over the course of this year, become quite closed once again. closed in the sense of communication, about myself, my life, etc. i was happy to share my dinner of red snapper fish masala with them, but sharing my inner thoughts, feelings, experiences... i only realised how blocked i had been when, whilst talking with laura, the dam was breached and the words began flowing, as if i had a tremendous urge to confess, to really relate to another human being in a language i could use and they could understand. and i felt that she could listen... and empathise. that, and the sense of fatalism and strange coincidences was what had made me open up. india was again casting her magic spells.
i felt so happy after this talk. this morning i had felt quite alone and sad, missing friends. and arambol seemed like just another commercial tourist place. but then i had met sabine again, and she had learnt, and told me, of the best place to eat in arambol. thus, we had all met up for dinner at the ‘relax inn’ and eating al fresco on the beach, the best fish masala i’ve ever eaten, pleasant warm evening under the stars, good company... how could i be sad? how the past comes and clings to my thoughts and takes over... had i not yet learnt the lesson? had i forgotten my mantra that i had always lived by? namely, past is gone and future is not born... the moment is, will be, has always been, now.
and in that moment, under the stars, on that beach, i remembered... and i felt happy.

india

i left for india today... finally. after returning to london - to get the visa for india changed after the last one got defaced due to an accidental encounter with rainwater under a tent (long stupid story!) – and a clinical trial study, i packed the small 45litre pack with the essentials for life on the road. i got the cheapest flight to india that i could find: to goa leaving from frankfurt. a flight avoided the time and hassle and expense of getting visas for pakistan and iran. only thing was how to get to frankfurt. hitching across the channel was a hit or miss affair... last time i got really unlucky and got stuck in calais (with the illegals playing cat and mouse with the police and me getting caught in the middle: not a nice experience and again another story), and with time not on my side, plan b was a lift-share via the mitfahrgelegenheit site on the web. that’s how i met rish, yet another fire-horse and similiar life perspective/experiences... as we shared travel and relationship stories, and the driving, from london to frankfurt. 

frankfurt was foggy and cold. i passed the occupy frankfurt protest in front of the european central bank and empathized with the activists. not so long ago, i would also have counted amongst their numbers. now it was just in spirit. i looked for an wifi hotspot, and the decision to take a netbook with me was already proving to be a good one as i got an emergency last minute host via that other useful website i use: couchsurfing.org. in ten minutes, i got a reply from sascha, and in an hour, i was at his place relaxing, helping to make sushi dinner in honour of his flat-mate and birthday girl julia, and some really good conversations till late at night with them. great hosts! real shame i had to go, but i got to the airport and checked-in and waited at the airport gate... when totally out of the blue, there stands this short woman with a big grin on her face. “i never expected to see you here”, she said. still shocked, and desperately trying hard to remember who this person was, i asked where we knew each other from. from chinguarime beach, in la gomera, she replied. of course, it was coming back to me. sabine (i had to ask her that too) had been one of the many german beach bums squatting the caves on chinguarime. it would be her first time in india, and she was also deciding where to go from the airport. at immigration, she met julia, who was going to arambol as part of a community there, and they agreed to go together. so whilst waiting at baggage reclaim, they asked what my plans were. i had no plans, only the notion to live in the here and now, and be alert to what was happening around me. i could see that i could give only one reply: “looks like i am going to arambol!” we shared a taxi there early that morning, our taxi driver being very jovial and informative. when we got to arambol, we sat on the beach and took it in: we are in india!! we split to find different accommodation... of course, i haggled like crazy and after much walking and haggling, finally one tout showed me a cheap room... no sea-view, but no matter for me, i told him... if i needed a sea-view, i need only walk 10 metres! it was getting amazing hot and walking the beach, i found someone to look after my gear whilst i went for a swim. sea-water therapy is very good for my soul! glorious sunset and beach jam session with drums and didge... and finally to sleep, long and deep. welcome to india.... it will be a few days before it really sinks in.