sharing

today, I was reminded about the power of sharing. only my second day in india, and still jet-lagged from the flight, i had dinner with sabine and julia, and julia’s ‘balanced view’ friends joe and laura. somehow, this ‘balanced view’ rang a bell with me, and laura asked me who i knew after i said that i might know some friends. tobi? and yes, they knew tobi. and later, laura realised that leah was also a mutual friend! destiny was weaving another mysterious pattern, and i could see how it was all unfolding. and it was chatting with laura and talking about life, ‘balanced view’, technology, facebook(!), etc. that i realised that i had, over the course of this year, become quite closed once again. closed in the sense of communication, about myself, my life, etc. i was happy to share my dinner of red snapper fish masala with them, but sharing my inner thoughts, feelings, experiences... i only realised how blocked i had been when, whilst talking with laura, the dam was breached and the words began flowing, as if i had a tremendous urge to confess, to really relate to another human being in a language i could use and they could understand. and i felt that she could listen... and empathise. that, and the sense of fatalism and strange coincidences was what had made me open up. india was again casting her magic spells.
i felt so happy after this talk. this morning i had felt quite alone and sad, missing friends. and arambol seemed like just another commercial tourist place. but then i had met sabine again, and she had learnt, and told me, of the best place to eat in arambol. thus, we had all met up for dinner at the ‘relax inn’ and eating al fresco on the beach, the best fish masala i’ve ever eaten, pleasant warm evening under the stars, good company... how could i be sad? how the past comes and clings to my thoughts and takes over... had i not yet learnt the lesson? had i forgotten my mantra that i had always lived by? namely, past is gone and future is not born... the moment is, will be, has always been, now.
and in that moment, under the stars, on that beach, i remembered... and i felt happy.