the indian ear-cleaning scam

despite pretensions of worldy-wisdom, it seems i am not adverse to being scammed. and the indian scammers are world-class. here’s how they caught me in a very indian scam...
i was just casually strolling along the beach when a man gestures at me. what, something on my face...? a bug...? he comes over and before i knew it, he was scraping away inside my ear with what looked like a crotchet needle. he showed me the ‘wax’ that he was apparently pulling out. ‘ears very dirty’, he said very matter-of-factly. when i first saw the needle, i recoiled away, telling him that no way was he going to put that metal thing in my ear. ‘it’s ok’, he kept saying, ‘it’s my job’. he pulled out a little notebook with what looked like testimonials from previous satisfied customers. somewhere in the distant reaches of my brain, alarm bells were ringing really loud, but somehow something else in me had muzzled them, as surely as the copious amounts of wax on my eardrums that he kept pulling out of my ears. i should’ve run at this point, but i had got sucked in... as he led me to sit down on the sand to finish the job.
now the sucker punch... he pulled out a card for the services of pulling out ‘stones’ from inside the ear... 500 rupees a stone... ‘you hear that’, he tapped with the needle, ‘that’s a stone’. with a pair of tweezers, he pulled out 2 ‘stones’ wrapped in ‘wax’ from one ear, and 2 from the other. ‘that didn’t come from my ear’, i told him. he was insistent. ‘yes, yes...’ and quickly scribbled 2000 in the sand. everything was happening very fast, and it seemed like there was no time to think. i was well and truly caught, and there was no way out. i told him i wasn’t going to pay 2000 as i pulled out my wallet. i still should have walked away at that point, but i felt intimidated by him, even though his manner was not overtly aggressive or violent. there were a couple of his friends around too and i didn’t know what to expect. ‘don’t give me 500’, he kept repeating. whether it was a cunning psychological ploy or not, it worked for him as i found myself taking out a 500 note and thrusting it into his hand. and as if this wasn’t enough, the cheeky bastard asked me to write a testimonial in his little book!! and before i knew it, my very own hand was writing what a good service he provided. i was mentally punching myself in the face for days after just for that indignation. i should’ve disowned myself for being too weak to stand up to this con-man ‘bully’. (photo shows another victim being duped by one of the gang of 'ear-cleaners' - happened just opposite me as i was sitting on the beach some days later)

i told my new found friends of my misfortune... yes of course they knew about this scam, the arambol regulars said laughing. the newbies weren’t laughing so hard when i told them... julia had also got caught a couple of days before me (400 rupees), and also sabine (100 rupees).
there is an epilogue to this story. today, as i was drying out after swimming, i saw a figure walking down the beach, in fact i think he also recognized me and said or gestured something. i was so surprised – i didn’t think i would see him again. but what a nerve, this guy was casually strolling along the beach seemingly unrepentant for what he was doing. i went to him and the first thing i did was ask him for his little book. he happily gave it to me, and opening it to the page where i had scrawled my testimonial, i tore out the page. i was relieved – i didn’t care if i didn’t get my money back, at least i wouldn’t be aiding and abetting this con-man to defraud others. then i told him what i thought of him. i told him that he was a pretty bad person, that i felt that he had cheated me, and that somehow, ‘god’ had provided him this opportunity to reclaim back some good karma points by giving me back the money he stole from me. of course, he was having none of it. he swore on the picture of his ‘god’ that he was telling the truth, that he was doing this for 10 years and never had any complaints. i told him that i had no way of knowing if what he said was true or not, only that the feeling i had was that he had conned me, and that he should do the right thing by giving me back the money. i appealed to whatever shred of conscious he had left in him. his friend came back twice, but each time i told him to go away as this was a matter between me and mr. conman. i was very calm and relaxed; i didn’t make any threats or act aggressively or violently. he asked me to talk to him in hindi... so i told him the same in my basic and rusty punjabi. he understood quite well, and in the end, somehow i convinced him and he gave me back 150 rupees. i told him that i still wasn’t happy with that, but that i would draw a line under the matter.
at this point, i saw that the scottish couple i had befriended the day before had sat a little back listening to what was going on... and as i went to join them, i told them not to trust these men pointing to the guy and his friend as they were walking away. i told them the story, they knew already that i had been scammed and were pleased that i had got some of the money back. then the two guys came walking back with another 2 of their friends, and i told them that that it was the end of the matter. they spoke to me in hindi, and one said that he was also from punjab. the other said not to be angry, and gave me 200 rupees more, saying that i shouldn’t tell anything bad from what had happened. of course not, i was thinking, some negative publicity would be very bad for business! that was the end of the matter for me, i told them. end of the matter regarding the money. but as for the scam, for sure i will warn all and sundry to be wary of anyone poking something in their ear! it was another valuable lesson learnt so in retrospect, i should be grateful to mr. conman. welcome to india!!